Just this one last time?!

A long-forgotten yet a beautiful story! Currently, that’s what I like to call that chapter in my life, whenever anyone shoots the most cliché post-breakup question towards me: “Have you moved on?!” Well by long-forgotten; please do not take the literal meaning out of it, my dear readers. I just ought to let you know that it’s been long enough for you to forget that and update yourself with new gossips. C’mon, I get the part that this story was once the talk in the city. But as necessary it is for me to move on, so is it for you! I’m done listening to all the sympathies and ‘awwws’ you would let out on hearing my short lived romantic story. I try to put enough full stops to that tale but you, the society, are just like the wind obstructing me from moving on to the next page. You blow in the wrong direction all over again; now you are supposed to help me in the direction of turning pages and then you were to blow in such a way that would pull her close to me. How can you mess it up every single time?! I hope my story is enough to let you know that you are invented to keep the dear ones close and keep the strangers off!!

Well, I’m kind of going off-track because my dear society, I’m not going to give you any more attention, at least that’s not what I wish to after all these years. I once had given you enough attention but only to lose something precious than a gem to me. Yes, I lost her! I lost my love while I gave an ear to all those crappy questions you kept bombarding at me. I could never provide her with an answer to why I love her or why it felt like home beside her or an affirmation to a happily ever after. It is unbelievable that I gave a damn thought to what all you ever made me believe in, when I was ought to surrender my only thoughts to her, to us! And that’s something that I guess I’ll regret life-long. Her thoughts haunt me still and this time I won’t hesitate to shout it out to the world, against all those ears waiting to eavesdrop to what my heart wants to whisper; her name. I won’t let you hush me down and I won’t step back from this very last time I want to speak about her because since long, behind the pale smile I flash upon you, I have been gulping down words waiting to break free. I don’t want to suffocate up on such a mesmerizing thought because all I wish is to continue living knowing that I was lucky enough to meet an angel like her! I beg of you to not stop me, this one last time…

Her twinkling eyes beautifully drawn with her only favourite makeup ‘kajal’ used to hold me back in such a magnetic way that I could see the entire future we were to stumble upon together; she never paused to think before she casted her pearly whites between her perfectly curved lips and yes, I can still hear her giggle in the silliest yet cutest way amongst the crowded local trains I travel by daily; her butter-fingers used to carelessly intertwine between my long fingers hoping to find her name embossed on my ring finger one day; and I can never forget the way her hair used to sway and fall over her perfectly carved face waiting to be brushed away by my fingers, only to find her breath-taking gaze and smile! What an exclusive creation of God she is, with such a striking look and an even more gentle soul within! Hmph. I just wish I could rewind time and that I had not stood there blankly gazing at her as the tears streamed down waiting for it to be wiped off by me, yes me! What was I waiting for? But, how could I, knowing that I was the reason for those drops soaking my shirt collar as she clung onto me tightly praying to stay that close with me forever? It’s only because I listened to you, my dearest society! I was scared you would cause her more hurt than you would to me, which is why I let her go before it’s too late; I let her slip away from my arms.

Since then, I have been choking on words she wished to hear that day,  and I still can feel her presence around me hoping to just hear my heart beat her name. I won’t hold back this time, my dear… “I loved you, and I still love you. I want to scream your name out loud and wait until the echoes reach you, just so that I can let you know that you still rule my heart and it only beats for you, until day! What we had is a long-forgotten story because I want to start a fresh one and I commit to you that it will be a happily ever-after tale as you wished for! I won’t let you slip away from my arms this time and I want to die in your arms instead. But……..Right now, I’m scared, not of the society but only about whether time defeated us; What if the fake story I delivered to them reached you and, this time you believed their little lies and moved far away from me and left me on my own?! What if I’m too late, too late to comprehend that once again the society overtook and defeated me, with the help of time; and that I’m at loss again, a loss so beautiful and irresistable?!”

P.S. So many of us let go of our love fearing what the future may bring to us, mainly worrying about what the society will think of us. Does it really matter what they think? Yes, for a meanwhile it may. But, they too will move on with their lives, right? If you left your love fearing some ‘may or may not happen’ incident, what is it really love? Yes, you may have left your loved one to prevent anymore hassles or sorrow because you can’t bear to see tears in your loved one’s eyes, but do remember that you will never be able to forget that one. Do give it a thought!

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Welcome back!

Hello readers! I’d like to welcome you all back to my blog. After procrastinating for around a month or so, here I am trying to retrieve my readers or find any new ones and get my blog up and going. It is sometimes difficult to maintain a blog, because you have to keep posting in order to maintain your count of few readers. But, you know what? Writing is my passion, and though a little late realization from worrying about what content can impress my readers, I have learnt that I write because I want to express and this is my way of expressing. Yes! I chose words to express my thoughts and not to impress anyone. There will be some people who can relate to me and some who can’t. To begin with, how many of you write or scribble your thoughts onto a sheet of paper, it could be a diary or a scrapbook which contains some really good quality stuff contradicting the name ‘scrap’ given to it? Well, I began writing when I was in my 8th Grade and those were just on sheets that I saved in a file folder. Once, my sister and my friends pestered me for a really long time to begin this blog because they saw some potential in me after reading one of my creations, and hence here I am. It’s a feeling of contentment, when someone tells that they could totally relate to what I have written and that’s when I thought I should write what people expect. But, no I was wrong. I cannot let anyone control my passion. I will write whatever I want to, and it’s not like everyone’s going to read it.

I am not writing currently from a writer-in-a-story kinda atmosphere; like in a silent garden, resting on an armchair while sipping a cup of coffee, the wind caressing my face as my mind elopes to a land of fantasy and you know a beautiful calligraphy pen in hand penning down words running through my mind and as a result a pile of papers on the floor ’cause obviously your mind can’t just be right at the first time and is indeed a twine of words. Phew! I almost took myself to such an imaginary land whereas I am just resting on my couch, with the TV playing some Bollywood songs randomly and a laptop resting on my lap. Well my readers, that’s the power of words to you. Words have the ability to create images in your brain and the success of a writer is to make his/her reader imagine the entire story as the latter reads one of the former’s creations. For that, is it really necessary to use sophisticated words or show your hold on vocabulary? No, I don’t think so. Why are nursery rhymes so cute and fresh? It’s because of it’s simplicity about how Jack and Jill went up the hill or how Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. For that matter, it’s even the Fable Stories that we used to read as kids that shows how simple stories convey a single meaning without complicating it. Whereas, if you read the novels these days or watch movies, there are a lot of meanings that we can take from it and it depends person to person, whether they want to see the real positive ideology and understand it and imply it in their lives or just take the negatives one and be like, “that’s what they showed in the movie too”, and hence I’m right.

We, humans have the capability of complicating even a small stuff into a huge one until and unless it eats up our head so that you know we could just blame it on our mind,”I’m sorry I just overthink at times”. Really? At times? We don’t really like simple things, do we? If everything is going on fine in our lives, we still have to worry about something going to go wrong in our near future ’cause someone stupid enough has told that ‘If you laugh a lot, you’ll cry that much too” or something of that sort. So basically we can’t even laugh until we cry the tears of joy because it may magically turn into tears of sorrow. It’s funny how we ask our friends to pinch us, so that we stop our laughs before it crosses a limit. Wait, there’s a limit to laughter when laughter is the best medicine? Hmm, seems intriguing to me! Well, how many of you have followed this stupid scheme of getting pinched voluntarily? We can’t live anymore in the present, as we are always worrying about the future. Why? Life is anyway too complicated (as what we portray it) , it doesn’t need a helping hand from your brain to complicate the small list of simple things. So, don’t even bother to help life if you can’t simplify stuffs.

Ok, hold on! I was talking about the power of words and here I am ranting out some philosophy, phh! That’s what a pessimist would think . Well, if you take an optimistic approach to this, I was clueless about what to write to restart my blog after so long, and here I am typing out words entwined in my brain and I have typed out enough content for a blog. Voila! See, that’s all that matters: Take out the meaning of something happening in your life in a way that will bring out the best in you instead of hindering yourself from putting out something exciting, because even if you may not like your work, there are plenty of them who can relate to and is looking forward to just see even a small effort from you!

P.S. Welcome back readers! 😀

Oh! How I’d wish.. (Part-2)

When the wind caressed me,

I’d wish that your arms embraced me…

When the rain showered on me,

I’d wish to drown in your eyes…

When the sun beamed upon us,

I’d wish to see a shadow,

of us and not mine alone…

When the snow left me shivering,

I’d wish that I could melt in your love…

And, when the autumn leaves shed on us,

I’d wish that I could walk by the lane,

with you in a bridal dress…

I gave up all of me to you,

my wishes to fate,

my expectations to reality,

and all that I’d think of,

in my tiny little fantasy land.

only to enter a world,

a  world of reality filled with obstacles;

to end with you and I!

Oh! How I wish I could,

elope to my dreamland,

where I had been assured

a happily-ever-after;

and escape from this chaotic life,

where you and I aren’t assured ;

the thought that makes me all jittery…

I had always wished that,

I’d never need to write,

about us or just you,

because I want you to live in my life,

and not in my poems!

 

P.S. Well, not everything in life happens the way we want because the main controller of each one of our lives, God, is watching over us, from up there! And, he’d definitely want only the best for us…Keep calm and go with the flow!

“Kol shaye yahdos le sabab” .. (Everything happens for a reason in Arabic)

Oh! How I’d wish.. (Part-1)

Your eyes read words,

that your lips refused to speak

and those I yearned to listen…

Our hearts did beat in sync,

but our silence roared louder!

Amid a crowded room,

I still felt lost,

not because people failed to

bring a smile on my face,

but because of the absence of that one,

who only tried to make my heart smile!

Dressed at my best,

just to strike a conversation with you,

like those you’d have with my colleagues;

but let alone being called a joker,

I realized I’d be the one you never compliment!

Yes! I do not wish you to be,

like the mirror in Snow-white’s story,,

but ever wondered if it’s fair,

to be just like the butter-paper,

when I reflect your emotions

just like a perfect mirror?!

That day, the way you revolted back,

when fingers were pointed towards

your parents, someone that dear to you;

I wished to be the one,

that you’d be possessive after them!

I wished for once, you’d stand for me,

the way you’d do for them,

even though I’d never get a  raise

in your chart of life’s priority…

 

To be continued….

 

 

Tick Tock Tik and Adieu…

Four years back,

I was left to explore a vast world,

bound between four humongous walls..

It felt like a prison,

well it had to,

since it wasn’t my home;

the place I spent my entire life!!

Unsurprisingly, I did come

out of my cocoon,

only to stumble upon,

few to laugh with,

few to gather memories,

and few for whom,

I’d definitely let my heart out

and vent out few drops,

that’d trickle down my face,

with no doubt,

that they’d wipe it off for me!!

Just like people tell,

that there’s heaven,

in every single corner of the world,

and it’s for us to find it;

I found my little heaven,

in this earlier mentioned prison too…

Just like people tell,

that heaven’s when you find,

solace in a pair of eyes,

and a heart beating for you,

tolerant to all your versions!!

I did find my heaven too,

but not in just a pair of eyes,

since I was lucky enough to find,

few more pairs of eyes to venture into!!

Yes! When I look back,

I’m glad I was left here;

Four years of memories,

At least three people to spend it with,

Two words to define the moments – ‘College Life‘,

and a heaven I found

out of my cocoon – College!!

Well, long before we drift apart,

let’s sing this once again,

You can count on me like,

1,2,3… I’ll be there!!”

Yea guys, let’s not count the four,

as the fourth year is too soon to end now;

It’s for us to live the moment,

It’s upon us, whether it ends here at four…

If we can skip the E and let it GO,

Let’s hold hands and skip the U,

and let it go on FOREVER….

So, are we in it?! 😉

P.S. To all final yearites. Wish you all the good luck for your future! Cherish these Happy Days, before it’s long gone…. Cheers!

 

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A beautiful soul..!

Smile as flawless as Monalisa, brave as Jhansi ki Rani, purest heart as Sita devi, cutest gestures as a toddler and what not… She was perfect in all ways; except for her face which had deformed after an accident… A girl who every guy would love to make his “forever” , if just for once they were willing to venture deep into her soul… She was the owner of an even more beautiful soul and a heart which stood contrast to her now scarred physique… She looked vibrant or bold, but she was fragile deep inside… If she had got that tough look, it was an outcome of her heart growing stronger, due to the insults she had to hear each and every time she broke through the four walls of her house… She later believed that insults come from people who are jealous of you and, since then, she smiled even more vibrantly than ever, at those people as they were all the same and she stood out different… Nothing could stop her; the horrific comments or the disgusted and cringey faces or the society, most of all, she herself… She believed in herself, when the whole world left her… She thanked God, for making her life more simpler and more beautiful… She was not in competition with anyone , she didn’t do things to impress others, she learnt to live for herself and that was when she started enjoying LIFE ..
P.S. Everyone in today’s world just go behind looks and wealth, they are busy winning people’s hearts instead of understanding one another, it’s about how many people you conquer and not about how many are willingly by your side, people mistake self-confidence to over-confidence and helping yourself with being selfish… Be your own best friend, because not everyone is going to be there beside you, throughout every chapter of your life… “Be there for others but never leave yourself behind” – Dodinsky… 😀

An incomplete story..

I pushed you quite far,

far away from me;

yet you live in my dreams..

Not that quite often as before,

but like the monsoon rain,

that shower these days..

We promised that we wouldn’t,

show up again,

as we bid farewell,

the last time we met;

but then I realized that,

actions do speak louder than words

’cause it seems like,

we show up in each other’s memories..

I don’t regret all those,

memorable moments that you gave me;

all I regret is my choice,

to live and die in your arms;

my decision to let you,

be the reason behind my,

tears of happiness and the,

cause of the scariest chaos;

the chaos in my once peaceful soul!

You were the rose in my paradise,

that left pleasant memories,

just like it’s fragrance,

and also like the thorns,

that left scars on those memories,

as we approached the deadline;

the deadline to our ‘happily-ever-after’ story..

I chase you in my dreams,

then, now and forever;

but now as I open my eyes,

I wake up to reality;

A reality where,

We” live in the pics of my photo gallery,

and what is left is just “You” and “I“..

We proved to be cowards,

in the battlefield of love,

where neither distance,

nor religion separated us;

but the four letter words,

‘Love’ and ‘Fear’ got interchanged;

the fear to hold hands together,

as we scripted a beautiful saga,

to carry with us to heaven..

You are just one call away,

and so is the DEL button,

but my heart skips a beat,

every time I hear your name,

when I haven’t seen you in so long..

At that I wonder,

have I really moved on?!

And my heart just flashes,

a pale smile..