An Open Letter…

Dear Barbarian,

People do tend to forget the million good things we do, and search for a single reason to point fingers at us (P.S. Not gender specific over here). Well, I have decided not to give you any such reason at least at the beginning of my letter. I definitely don’t want you to retaliate on the part where I address this open letter to the men out there so that’s pretty much the reason why I endorse the gentlemen of the society and address this letter to the aforementioned. Because, that’s not the point and the whole essence of this letter will just go down the drain. Behind a man’s success there is a woman but will a day come where we could tell the same with the genders interchanged? Chuck success even, can you just let us live the way we want, without fearing any preying eyes? That is a message to the hypocritical women of the society too who judge us for the jeans we wear while they drape their rather revealing sarees in a carefree manner.

March 8, International Women’s Day. One day to live our life in a pompous manner. A day to put on our best outfit, embrace and brace ourselves, hold our heads high, attend women empowerment seminars and maybe have a day off from the routine kitchen work (if we are lucky enough to be a member of a family that appreciates our work for them). But hold on! Just a day, out of all the 365 days, to live the way we want?

What if we feel like dressing up on any other normal day? Will you just stare down at us until we find it uncomfortable to even step off our house or will you punish us by ripping our clothes off only to leave a scar on our soul and body, which will never heal with time? Rather will you let us wear anything that we want and roam around the streets with no fear for the rest of the days too. All we are asking from you is ‘Why should boys have all the fun?’ Yes, we admit that we too gawk at you when you are dressed at your best or have a charm that could get our heartbeats race. But do we possess the power to instil the fear in you to get out of your homes or rather make you check a thousand times if your outfit is appropriate for the world out there? Well, I guess we just discern the thin line between making you feel comfortable and uncomfortable.

Well moving to the ‘embracing ourselves’ part of the celebration day. Let’s take a look at the literal meaning of the two strong words. To embrace oneself means to let go of harsh recrimination and happily accept our own identity and uniqueness. Every person send to this universe is unique in his/ her own way. Do we still face discrimination on the basis of strength or ability to sustain in a chemical plant with just men around? Well, ladies it is not the doubt on our strengths rather it is the safety concern because men doubt men just like how we don’t trust our kind with gossips. That’s when people tell us to brace ourselves which means to prepare ourselves for something difficult or unpleasant. But, wait again, just for a day? Are we to stay mum about the domestic violence that happen to us quite often or the verbal abuse we face while speaking for ourselves, all the other days? Rather are we to vent it out on the day dedicated to us just so, you, the society can forget it in the coming days and we can get back to getting tortured, only to bring a new story for you the next March 8th?

Hold our heads high? Well we so wish too. Kindly, do not have a misconception that we want to be superior in the family or anything of that sort. We just want to be given that equality at the discussion table and not be the one who just cooks and brings food to the table. The way a man is appreciated for bringing money home, we just want to know that our family is aware and acknowledge the part that we are the ones who ensure that they return to a calm and relaxing environment. We just want to hold our heads high and look right into your eyes and speak about how we feel about your acts, words and anything that bothers us, without fearing any kind of revengeful violence in the future.

Seminars by successful women on their life stories will not enter our simple head rather it will evoke the most common feeling (jealousy) of how she gets to follow her dreams as our feathers get chopped off! That will make us more agitated or rather get us kicked out of our own house for being too outspoken about our dreams. Instead, it may be a scope for motivation if the society starts to believe in us by telling us that ‘We can do it too’ every time we fall down. Only if you, the society, could give us a nudge to stand on our own feet rather than pulling us down and creating a perturbed situation for us on being a mother.

A day off from kitchen work? We would be happy if you acknowledge the food we prepare after a nerve-racking day at office or rather remove the clichéd statement that women look better in kitchen than men. There is no hard cut rule as such, alright?! Helping us out at the kitchen or just accompanying us is also a kind of appreciation we would look for. A burnt roti on our plate made by you would rather make our eyes teary as we’d appreciate the efforts you put in to shush our tummy. Just like how you get bored of the food cooked by us, we too get bored of the taste our hands tend to prepare on a routine basis. We’d like a change too and that doesn’t have to necessarily wait until next March.

“There is a powerful tension in our relationship to technology. We are excited by egalitarianism and anonymity, but we constantly fight for our identity” – David Owens. Well, I guess women/men empowerment may not be the right move to create a conducive place to live in. If we could focus on egalitarianism, that’d be the best policy we could adopt to make co-existence of both the genders smooth and fair. Let’s keep our egos aside and quit this ‘divide and rule’ policy by each group, and work on being humans first! Let us stop believing that our differences make us superior or inferior to one another.

Yours truly,

An Egalitarian.