Why do you love me?!

How powerful are those three words;” I love you!”?! Easily given away, but when you need to support your statement, you find yourself at a loss of words!

In an hour-long video call between the long-distance couple, she gave him a 20-minute list on why she felt things were going to be difficult for them. He paused her and asked just a question, “Why do you love me?”! Those were the few times; her non-stop chattering found a sudden full-stop and the perfect curve her lips made while she smiled, turned into a straight line. She never could find the right answer to provide him with. She didn’t want to hurt him rather, as she felt she never had the right choice of words for such situations. He calmly asked her once again, breaking the silence, “Why do you love me? You found a never-ending list of things for why you feel we don’t stand a chance. But tell me, how did this begin in the first place? If you can answer that question you’ve been dodging since ever, I’ll listen to you rant for however long you wish to!”

They just gazed at each other, because they knew what they felt was something that no word in the English dictionary could do justice to. The silence that prevailed, was broken by their hearts that beat louder! Their heart wanted to step in and remind them about what they felt for each other, but it was side-lined once again by the mind playing a game of just snakes & snakes. Yes, a game with no ladders to pull them out of the mess going through their heads! All they had to believe was in themselves; not as individuals but as “one”. But the what-ifs roared louder with no answers and those questions summoned them once again at the court of love. They pleaded mercy with all their might but were found guilty because they let the questions question the most vulnerable yet beautiful feeling, love!

She wanted him to be there for her till the end, though knowing he was no prince charming who rode a white horse. She knew his love and care mattered much more than the struggles that they would have to go through if the future saw them together. They were ready to fight anyone and anything, that stood in their way of love. Little did they know that a rather devastating war had to be fought with their own minds, a war that left both at loss!

She let out a sigh and whispered, “I Love You!”. Yes, those three words hid an ocean of emotions and were the only words that could answer his question. He knew she never gave away those words that easily and if she said it, it’s because she meant it. She used to never answer to his “I love you-s” or “I miss you-s” with a “You too”. But when she said it; it felt so magnetic that those words left him with goosebumps.

With this, a tear trickled down her cheek and it broke him knowing that he wasn’t next to her to wipe it off. She quickly wiped it off and thanked him for being there for her every time she felt the world was pulling her down. But, what an irony right? Her world itself was drowning in front of her eyes, and all she could do was to watch helplessly. She managed to pull herself up and gasped, ”Love alone is not enough for two people to live together happily. Families matter. Time matters and it waits for none. So, I guess, this is it! We don’t stand a chance, do we?” Her eyes looked up at him, with hope.

Now, a tear trickled down his cheek. He could feel a lump in his throat and him choking on words that he knew was not enough to make her stay. He managed to let out the words trying to break-free; “I don’t want to lose you, because you are my happy place too. But I can’t be selfish enough to keep you waiting, without giving you the assurance you are asking for.”

They nodded in agreement and tried to smile because their smile was each other’s strength. They didn’t want to keep the call, as they knew that could be the last time, they saw each other, until sometime in near future (fingers crossed). They wanted to meet one last time, but felt, it would have been all the more difficult to break-off from their tight hug and walk away. They thanked the invention of technology, for making things a tad easier.

They wanted it to end on a happy note and hence started recollecting all the beautiful moments they shared. Though, they smiled on the outside, their hearts were breaking into pieces with each memory shared, because they knew there will be never an end to discussing this as each moment they spent together happily or fighting, was worth it! They grew together and was each other’s support system. They were each other’s home, that one’d want to crash into after a long day!

The villain finally stepped in; the message that read: “Your data pack is about to get over….” They knew it was the end, an end so shattering after a long and beautiful run of 5 years. They never regretted that they met each other but was rather glad they got to spend some cherish-able moments together. Yes, their 5 years were going to end in 5 minutes! They didn’t waste those few minutes by speaking because they knew words meant nothing. They stared at each other, letting the tears roll down their cheeks, trying to capture those last few moments. They could see the 5 years they spent, flash in front of their eyes and their future snap into nothing, at the blink of their eyes! The phone beeped, and she let out a sigh, “I guess, this is it!”.

The screen went blank, and they both broke down, at different corners of the world!

P.S. Some people travel like parallel lines in a hope to meet at infinity, and some cross each other at an intersection and never meet again. Both are worth it, if you find peace and happiness, because that’s what’s missing in our busy lives and something we yearn for at the end of the day!

Privacy in the age of internet?!

“Privacy on the internet? It is an oxymoron”, quotes Catherine Butler adroitly!

2017 researches have shown that on an average a person spends more than 4 hours a day on their devices or in a different sense, you are basically providing crucial personal information for free to strangers and large companies who can do anything with that data. (Imagine to what extent the average time has leaped in this one year?!) Not dangerous yet?

Yes, true that we are in the era of digitalization and the internet has helped us immensely to stay connected amidst this pandemic. I’d be a hypocrite if I too don’t admit the new addiction that i unknowingly got trapped in. It is the smartphones that we own. No, I don’t have a problem with the smartphone as such but yes I do have a problem with phone usage being one of my guilty pleasure and I bet it’s slowly being all of ours common guilty pleasure too. Hold on, read the first line of the para again and ask yourselves whether we own them or do they own us? Sadly, it sounds like the latter to me and which is why it is necessary to discuss the same before it is too late.

Another fact is that, the mobile phones are rightly called ‘smart’phones as they smartly make us dumber with its excessive usage and ‘cell’phones as we truly are being slaves to the technology made by us, the mankind, who are blessed with a brain.

Well, the phones actually aren’t that powerful until we give them the rights to hypnotize us with all the social media site applications like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp etc. that we install. Can you imagine spending a week without using your phone, checking updates or connecting with the world? How long do you think you could go ‘off the grid’? Or can you…at all? Do you really have to put your life or rather your privacy at stake? Here’s a sneak peak to the well known yet widely ignored facts of the Internet.

Fact no. 1: Your smartphones are way smarter than they are portrayed. Every app or telecom company has our private data despite the so-called data privacy rules. But, how cheaply are you willing to trade away your personal data? From a single like on Facebook to your conversations over phone, they can know it all. Your telephonic conversations can be tapped very easily. One can judge the nature or behavior of the other person as well as fetch their personal information. This plethora of information available so easily helps them to know you better than your close ones just so it can be used against you.

Fact no. 2: Privacy was a fundamental right once and now it has become a low-cost commodity. There seems little to no prospect of reversing that, however strange or alien it may seem. We are making trades for a foreseeable future – which means it’s important we start thinking about the price, the price for our invaluable life!

Fact no. 3: All those times that you shut your room’s door tightly close to sneak into the world of internet and away from your dear ones, you were just hustling into a much unsafer world- a world where your life is an open book to many! You never know; how many pictures of yours have been taken surreptitiously and to whom all it has been shared?

“The use of self control is like the use of brakes on train. It is useful when you find yourself in wrong direction but merely harmful when the direction is right” – Bertrand Russell.

This could form basis for an argument that we can almost never tag what is right or wrong since what’s good in my book of definitions could be a wrong doing in yours. Well, I am not asking you to to follow my book or to stop following yours! The call is yours. All we need to know is when to apply the brakes and that’s obviously before the harm is done.

Well to conclude it and not bore you with anymore of those “known” facts, here is something that you could ponder upon later: “In a world where everyone is over exposed, the coolest thing you can do is maintain your mystery!” 😉

Lessons from a train journey..

A college student I was, until the last year. The point behind me revealing my personal info is nothing more than to let you know that, ‘I managed to get into a general compartment’ is a cliched statement that one gets to hear from us, the college students, especially when it is a spontaneous weekend escape plan. Well, my escape was nothing like a Goa trip or to attend a rave party, but only to go to a place I call my nearest home, far away from my home. Yes, I had gone to my aunt’s place during a 3 day holiday that my college had suddenly declared. Well, I am not getting into details of how it was at home, as home is home and everything ought to be perfect. The story is about my 2 hr train travel back to my college from my aunt’s place.

Now, to support my former statement, let me begin the story with, ‘I managed to get into a general compartment’. It was not the monsoon shower’s time, but let’s just say that the sun was having a gleeful time contrary to the frustration we experienced. I never liked the Ladies’ general compartment for some reason, especially when it was crowded. Unfortunately, I had no choice than to squeeze myself silently and make my way through the ladies/girls pushing and yelling at each other. Now, people have asked me why I have never booked my ticket atleast while I was travelling back , as it is always pre-planned when to leave. Well, can’t I just not travel with the economically challenged people of our country despite being able to afford a stress-free journey? I just like simple things and I don’t think I need a reason for it, right? And, if you really desperately need a reason, it is that this is the best way to know how it feels to be in their shoes and also to acknowledge the luxuries you have in your life and be grateful about it. Try it once and you will get to know!

Okay, getting back to my story. I’m amongst a compartment full of women of different age, culture and back-ground stories. You don’t need to ask them the story particularly, as majority of my kind is blessed with the interest to gossip about anything and everything and especially when one gets people of their own kind around them, then we just can’t avoid bonding over interfering with other people’s lives! So, the usual chitter-chatter was going on and me just being me, just plugged in to my world of music, as my intention was not to indulge into the negativity of gossips and only to be a silent spectator who didn’t mind travelling with them. Now, here are two of the peculiar observations I had and like to share, my dear readers :

There was an elderly lady wailing over the respect she never got from her only son and his family. She was travelling to the city where they resided, from her village where she stayed alone. As she was knitting a cute frock for her new-born grand-daughter, the fellow passengers sympathized over her plight and began to criticize the new stranger, they just had heard about, enthusiastically. (My mind: Acknowledge your parent’s sacrifice and presence until it is too late.)
There was a group of folk people, approx. 3-4 ladies and their total 8 kids. They didn’t have a phone nor did they know the station they had to get down at. They were sitting with hope and waiting for their men companions to rush to the compartment and get them out in a span of 2 minutes, considering the halt time. Their station arrived and a group of men barged into the ladies compartment and dragged the heavy sacks (10-12 of them) in a haste and asked the ladies to rush out with their kids. One particular child caught my attention due to her handicap. It will be difficult for me to explain in words about the sight I had as she smiled so sweetly, looked at me with sparkly eyes and tried to hold me with her “half” hand for support as her mother tried to make way amid the chaos. I didn’t want to convey the bizarre emotions behind my pale smile I casted back at her, seeing just the tiny half of her once entire hand. The other passengers just wanted to talk as I mentioned earlier, so they inquired from the mother what had happened to her and tried to evoke the feelings that she tried to control until then, just so that they could empathize. Phew! (My mind: Thank God for keeping you safe and value the only life you are gifted with. Also, never ever bring back the sad history of a person just for your entertainment!)

There were many others too but only these were worth mentioning as I felt a tug in my heart seeing them. Anyways, the gossip continued until THE tragedy happened. The train came to a halt midway and we didn’t get to know what had happened as we were at the other end of the train. But, gossip/news travel faster than the train itself these days. One of the water-bottle sellers you find in the train was trying to hop from the compartment he was in, on to the platform so as to run and enter the next compartment, while the train was in motion. Seeing him take his life so carelessly, fate thought of going for a stroll too and his body fell right into the tiny gap between the train and the platform. The train came to a halt but the damage was done anyways. As I witnessed such a tragedy from so near for the first time or atleast heard about it while being at the place of incidence, I felt shivers throughout my body. I didn’t want to look at the shattered, life-less body of his lie on the platform , which the people had managed to pull out. But yes, the women travelling along with me were excited to some different level as they got a bigger topic to talk about. They started discussing and describing what they saw and started talking about life again! My earphones couldn’t help me escape this time as my mind was stuck at the tragedy that just happened and wondering how people value their life so less. Yes, risks are necessary and Darr ke aage jeet hai (If you overcome your fear, you get success), but you only live once too!

As many as traumatic experiences I encountered in a 2 hr journey, that many lessons I did learn as well. Sometimes, you need to step into a world that is different from yours, only to learn many things more and have a moment of self-realization.

The two keys to success…

Trending Ted-Talk videos, best-selling books, a chapter in our school/college course, a motivational speech by a famous person during our Annual Day function, a biographical film or so on… We all have come across atleast one story of a successful person by either of the above-mentioned means, haven’t we? But the actual question here is, how many of us understand and apply it in our daily lives? Success is something we all aim for and the version of success perceived varies from person to person. For few, success is how much fame, power, job status or money they possess and for the other few it is personal growth rather than materialistic things like the former. Real success in life is when you achieve something that matters to you the most. Since, every individual comes with different ideologies, background etc., we should never impose our own definition of success on anyone. We should understand that the only thing in common amongst all of us is the path of constant struggle, we all volunteered to travel through, to reach our respective goals. With this being said here’s presenting you the success mantra of Rancho from 3-Idiots: “Success Ke Peeche Mat Bhaago, Excellence Ka Peecha Karo, Success Jhak Maarke Tumhare Peeche Ayegi”. Read on to understand the two things that we need to follow in order to be successful in our own ways:

Courage to accept: “Instead of repeating the same lessons over and over again, learn from them quickly by having the courage to accept them” – Roxana Jones. What if I am not right? What if things went wrong because of me? Do not ever let the ‘what ifs’ obstruct you from making any choice or rather hinder your first step towards something that you are intrigued by. No one is perfect and it is understood that nobody can get anything right at the first go. As a child, it was easier to open the long list of mistakes that we had committed, in front of anyone. You may have a reasoning that you were a child back then and people hence accepted your mistakes easily because of your innocence. Well that is true, but the only thing that’s stopping you now probably would be the ego yelling out to you ‘why should I broadcast my wrong doings so as to let anyone else snatch away my chance?’ Skip the E from the word EGO and let it GO. Feel free and muster all your courage to accept the mistakes. Own it and mean it. In such situations, just close your eyes and ponder if you’d accept a person who is ready to accept their own mistakes and correct themselves or a person who is just stubborn enough to not admit the same? You need to have the courage to accept the fact that things do take time to be right. Own your mistake instead of putting the blame on someone else, irrespective of the position you hold in that place: superior or a junior. In that way, you not only promote a healthy work atmosphere but also create opportunities for wild and creative ideas to flow in! You can excel at the cost of few scoldings from your colleagues rather than keeping quiet out of fear of humiliation and repeating the same mistake again and again. Well, a fun fact is that you get to do a new mistake the next time.

P.S. “It takes immense courage to accept, the reality of the truth, told to you and about you by someone, without just being angry” – Emotional strength

Dedication to improve: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan. How many of us have tried to extract the true essence of the phrase ‘sky is the limit’, completely? As common and easily these words are said, it opens a portal for the million different ways of doing a specific thing. It just requires enough patience to turn clay into a beautiful art-piece or in transforming diamond from a rough stone into a faceted gem. What is amazing is that at the end of the process, you eventually get to turn your frowns of failure to smiles of success. Strive hard until you get to eat the sweet fruits you reaped for. Don’t settle for anything less than perfect because you, my friend, are answerable to only one question that your inner-self will haunt you with, i.e. “Did I give my best? Was I capable of something more?” If you have a satisfactory yes to the former and a no to the latter, you will be the most content person as you have been truthful to your self and worked for something while stepping out of your comfort zone. Just imagine, what would have happened if you had not tried to walk after a few bruises, as a kid? Life is so, dear friends, you either get to walk up with your head high after giving your best or …….!

Well, to conclude, APJ Abdul Kalam has rightly quoted that “Confidence and Hard-work is the best medicine to kill the disease called failure. It will make you a successful person.”

An Open Letter…

Dear Barbarian,

People do tend to forget the million good things we do, and search for a single reason to point fingers at us (P.S. Not gender specific over here). Well, I have decided not to give you any such reason at least at the beginning of my letter. I definitely don’t want you to retaliate on the part where I address this open letter to the men out there so that’s pretty much the reason why I endorse the gentlemen of the society and address this letter to the aforementioned. Because, that’s not the point and the whole essence of this letter will just go down the drain. Behind a man’s success there is a woman but will a day come where we could tell the same with the genders interchanged? Chuck success even, can you just let us live the way we want, without fearing any preying eyes? That is a message to the hypocritical women of the society too who judge us for the jeans we wear while they drape their rather revealing sarees in a carefree manner.

March 8, International Women’s Day. One day to live our life in a pompous manner. A day to put on our best outfit, embrace and brace ourselves, hold our heads high, attend women empowerment seminars and maybe have a day off from the routine kitchen work (if we are lucky enough to be a member of a family that appreciates our work for them). But hold on! Just a day, out of all the 365 days, to live the way we want?

What if we feel like dressing up on any other normal day? Will you just stare down at us until we find it uncomfortable to even step off our house or will you punish us by ripping our clothes off only to leave a scar on our soul and body, which will never heal with time? Rather will you let us wear anything that we want and roam around the streets with no fear for the rest of the days too. All we are asking from you is ‘Why should boys have all the fun?’ Yes, we admit that we too gawk at you when you are dressed at your best or have a charm that could get our heartbeats race. But do we possess the power to instil the fear in you to get out of your homes or rather make you check a thousand times if your outfit is appropriate for the world out there? Well, I guess we just discern the thin line between making you feel comfortable and uncomfortable.

Well moving to the ‘embracing ourselves’ part of the celebration day. Let’s take a look at the literal meaning of the two strong words. To embrace oneself means to let go of harsh recrimination and happily accept our own identity and uniqueness. Every person send to this universe is unique in his/ her own way. Do we still face discrimination on the basis of strength or ability to sustain in a chemical plant with just men around? Well, ladies it is not the doubt on our strengths rather it is the safety concern because men doubt men just like how we don’t trust our kind with gossips. That’s when people tell us to brace ourselves which means to prepare ourselves for something difficult or unpleasant. But, wait again, just for a day? Are we to stay mum about the domestic violence that happen to us quite often or the verbal abuse we face while speaking for ourselves, all the other days? Rather are we to vent it out on the day dedicated to us just so, you, the society can forget it in the coming days and we can get back to getting tortured, only to bring a new story for you the next March 8th?

Hold our heads high? Well we so wish too. Kindly, do not have a misconception that we want to be superior in the family or anything of that sort. We just want to be given that equality at the discussion table and not be the one who just cooks and brings food to the table. The way a man is appreciated for bringing money home, we just want to know that our family is aware and acknowledge the part that we are the ones who ensure that they return to a calm and relaxing environment. We just want to hold our heads high and look right into your eyes and speak about how we feel about your acts, words and anything that bothers us, without fearing any kind of revengeful violence in the future.

Seminars by successful women on their life stories will not enter our simple head rather it will evoke the most common feeling (jealousy) of how she gets to follow her dreams as our feathers get chopped off! That will make us more agitated or rather get us kicked out of our own house for being too outspoken about our dreams. Instead, it may be a scope for motivation if the society starts to believe in us by telling us that ‘We can do it too’ every time we fall down. Only if you, the society, could give us a nudge to stand on our own feet rather than pulling us down and creating a perturbed situation for us on being a mother.

A day off from kitchen work? We would be happy if you acknowledge the food we prepare after a nerve-racking day at office or rather remove the clichéd statement that women look better in kitchen than men. There is no hard cut rule as such, alright?! Helping us out at the kitchen or just accompanying us is also a kind of appreciation we would look for. A burnt roti on our plate made by you would rather make our eyes teary as we’d appreciate the efforts you put in to shush our tummy. Just like how you get bored of the food cooked by us, we too get bored of the taste our hands tend to prepare on a routine basis. We’d like a change too and that doesn’t have to necessarily wait until next March.

“There is a powerful tension in our relationship to technology. We are excited by egalitarianism and anonymity, but we constantly fight for our identity” – David Owens. Well, I guess women/men empowerment may not be the right move to create a conducive place to live in. If we could focus on egalitarianism, that’d be the best policy we could adopt to make co-existence of both the genders smooth and fair. Let’s keep our egos aside and quit this ‘divide and rule’ policy by each group, and work on being humans first! Let us stop believing that our differences make us superior or inferior to one another.

Yours truly,

An Egalitarian.

Cherish every moment!

AIM: To take my dear readers on a stroll, back to the time where everything in life was actually easy and simple.

To Prove: Never ever judge a book by its cover and all that glitters is not gold!

Current Scenario: Age of 22 and above.

Stroll back to: Yourself in your teens or age below.

Life’s way of proving me wrong:

I still remember those times, where I wished I could just fast forward all those moments I felt was really frustrating, difficult and most importantly pointless, and enter the career life ASAP just to enjoy sitting in an air-conditioned office, sipping a cup of coffee and working on something that interests me (’cause obviously my ambition was my choice), having a personal laptop or a work desk, taking a day off whenever I wished to and have lit parties. Here is a list of wrongly tagged things which I really crave for now and I’m sure everyone of you miss too!

Then: boring lectures and brain wrecking exams Now: The amount of fun that we used to have during those late night group study sessions or tuition classes, trying to make sense in those ‘senseless’ ( now invaluable) things by making the weirdest acronyms that anyone could ever think of and scribbling down the notes that the professors bombarded us with, is incomparable.
Then: chugged down food when I had no other option ’cause obviously I was a kid/ student and I had to eat what I was given Now: I’d really appreciate any kind of food served to me because after a hectic day at work, all that you care is how to shush your tummy so that you can proceed to crash on your bed! Maa tussi great ho (Mom, you are great). I really do mean it and I’d love to take a moment to apologize for all those tantrums I threw at you. It is amazing how you manage the house without any complaints, even after an arduous day. Three cheers to all the mothers out there!! [P.S. It is surprising if you don’t knock us with the roti roller in your hand, when we sulk over the meal you prepared] ❤
Then: pointless assignments which was mere wastage of paper and my precious time. Pffft! Now: There is a whole lot of black and white papers in front of you created by you, the robot. The creative part of your brain literally dies day by day. Be grateful to all those teachers who try to invoke that part of your brain because, Oh child, they know how it is to be an adult! They know your life is going to run in a robotic manner and that you are going to be a slave of time. They know you are going to run one hell of a relay, exchanging your responsibilities, just like the batons.
Then: had to do activities that never interested me, just because my friends were participating and that was the best reason to bunk a class Now: I would love to do any activity voluntarily that will help rejuvenate the over-worked up soul that I carry daily to office, anything to add some spice masala to my life because even dal fry is bland without tadka! But you know what? As much as an outgoing person I am, staying at home on a Sunday after a monotonous week, doing nothing, is itself a bliss I’d count now!
Then: people ignored my talks just because I was a kid! Now: I have to think before each word that falls out of my mouth because people are more interested in arguing than hearing. They wait for you to screw up one thing you tell so that they can pester you for the rest of your lives telling, “I can’t believe you told me so, that day!” [P.S. It is the best that people can’t read your minds because more than what gets censored by the Censor Board or backspaced in your daily messages, you edit the content your mouth is bound to speak]
Then: carry those heavy school bags that weighed definitely more than me and made me look like a ladybug Now: Oh God! Those days were much simpler and beautiful. It was just the bags that I carried on my back that were heavy. Before I sleep every night now, the heavy dark bags that my poor eyes weigh after the incessant use of the PC is unavertable.

These were few of the instances that I could recollect in such a short span of time. I am pretty sure there are many more important moments to you that I may have left off! All that matters is how our attitude is. Now, as I help any of my younger ones in their academics, I understand how silly and easy those contents were. It is just the attitude that matters in how we accept a situation. I know, I can’t time travel back to those days and correct myself, but I have learnt to accept and move forward with an attitude that can never pull me down. Easy or difficult a task – is your call! Stress over it or fight it out – is again your call! The misconception that we all live in is that ‘the grass is greener on the other side‘. Maybe it is, but each path that you trod over has its own ditches and weeds. Walk over it or make it a garden for you to live harmoniously – is your call! Stop stressing over things that you don’t have and value the things that you have! Try to change the stones into gems and look forward for the rainbow after each storm you encounter.

“Sometimes, you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory” – Dr.Seuss.

Topicless – A new Topic…

Hey readers! A confusing topic? Well, I am really clueless and topicless as I am writing this. There’s this really difficult task of finding a really catchy name for your blog, to get your readers to read it. Atleast, that’s what I feel since I judge a movie by it’s name. Now, you got another point against me, judgmental a person I am, but that’s clearly just for movies and songs and really weird names maybe! Let me make this clear once again, I judge things and don’t judge people because I believe every person has a story of their own to tell.

Now, you tell me, don’t you cringe a bit when you hear absurd names for a movie, like why would the director even name it so?! But, there are these really intrigued set of people in the community who watch the movie to just see what link the movie has with its name, just like those people in horror movies who go towards the ghost when we keep screaming “DON’T! With my own experience of watching such a movie when left with no other choices, I’d like to say that few of them are really good. Now, you get another point, that judging a name is also wrong because a name too has a story to tell of its own.

Did I confuse you now? Well, that’s what state I get into when I have a lot of topics in my head but not enough content to write about. But, ye I don’t really have to work on an essay because people don’t really have the time to read someone else’s story right? But, can you be selfish all the time? Will people lend you an ear to listen you out when you want to rant out stuff? No! So that brings another point that you should be selfish enough not to keep people away from you. Respect your space, but do respect their thoughts too!

Now, getting back to the story behind the name for my blog. I really had a lot of topics to write about but one story leads to another because obviously the mind loves to wander about. So, infact I’m actually topicless but that gives me the right to write about anything random in each paragraph and by anything I mean, I can let my mind wander free without any refrains. How many of us have words unspoken everyday, because of different situations?

Well, I am here, reaching out to many people, because of the support and force from my loved ones to begin a blog. I used to keep my writings and thoughts saved in my diary which my parents had gifted me. It’s not really cool to invade into anyone’s personal space (I still stick on to what I say) but luckily the only sheet that tore off from my diary was a poem I had scribbled on during one of my lectures. My friends didn’t invade, don’t get me wrong, it was the fate or timing that wanted to get me off the boundary limit of my diary. They wanted me to begin a blog but I never felt my writings were really worth publishing. I asked my sister for her opinion too and she was also supportive to begin one. Hence, here I am!

The only aim behind this blog is to spread this message to all the budding writers: Get your pens out, fill it up with ink, keep writing. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have quality content. Well, no one is really perfect in this world. So, take a chill pill buddy and let your mind wander free ’cause there’s no bigger wanderlust than your mind 😉 …

Just this one last time?!

A long-forgotten yet a beautiful story! Currently, that’s what I like to call that chapter in my life, whenever anyone shoots the most cliché post-breakup question towards me: “Have you moved on?!” Well by long-forgotten; please do not take the literal meaning out of it, my dear readers. I just ought to let you know that it’s been long enough for you to forget that and update yourself with new gossips. C’mon, I get the part that this story was once the talk in the city. But as necessary it is for me to move on, so is it for you! I’m done listening to all the sympathies and ‘awwws’ you would let out on hearing my short lived romantic story. I try to put enough full stops to that tale but you, the society, are just like the wind obstructing me from moving on to the next page. You blow in the wrong direction all over again; now you are supposed to help me in the direction of turning pages and then you were to blow in such a way that would pull her close to me. How can you mess it up every single time?! I hope my story is enough to let you know that you are invented to keep the dear ones close and keep the strangers off!!

Well, I’m kind of going off-track because my dear society, I’m not going to give you any more attention, at least that’s not what I wish to after all these years. I once had given you enough attention but only to lose something precious than a gem to me. Yes, I lost her! I lost my love while I gave an ear to all those crappy questions you kept bombarding at me. I could never provide her with an answer to why I love her or why it felt like home beside her or an affirmation to a happily ever after. It is unbelievable that I gave a damn thought to what all you ever made me believe in, when I was ought to surrender my only thoughts to her, to us! And that’s something that I guess I’ll regret life-long. Her thoughts haunt me still and this time I won’t hesitate to shout it out to the world, against all those ears waiting to eavesdrop to what my heart wants to whisper; her name. I won’t let you hush me down and I won’t step back from this very last time I want to speak about her because since long, behind the pale smile I flash upon you, I have been gulping down words waiting to break free. I don’t want to suffocate up on such a mesmerizing thought because all I wish is to continue living knowing that I was lucky enough to meet an angel like her! I beg of you to not stop me, this one last time…

Her twinkling eyes beautifully drawn with her only favourite makeup ‘kajal’ used to hold me back in such a magnetic way that I could see the entire future we were to stumble upon together; she never paused to think before she casted her pearly whites between her perfectly curved lips and yes, I can still hear her giggle in the silliest yet cutest way amongst the crowded local trains I travel by daily; her butter-fingers used to carelessly intertwine between my long fingers hoping to find her name embossed on my ring finger one day; and I can never forget the way her hair used to sway and fall over her perfectly carved face waiting to be brushed away by my fingers, only to find her breath-taking gaze and smile! What an exclusive creation of God she is, with such a striking look and an even more gentle soul within! Hmph. I just wish I could rewind time and that I had not stood there blankly gazing at her as the tears streamed down waiting for it to be wiped off by me, yes me! What was I waiting for? But, how could I, knowing that I was the reason for those drops soaking my shirt collar as she clung onto me tightly praying to stay that close with me forever? It’s only because I listened to you, my dearest society! I was scared you would cause her more hurt than you would to me, which is why I let her go before it’s too late; I let her slip away from my arms.

Since then, I have been choking on words she wished to hear that day, and I still can feel her presence around me hoping to just hear my heart beat her name. I won’t hold back this time, my dear… “I loved you, and I still love you. I want to scream your name out loud and wait until the echoes reach you, just so that I can let you know that you still rule my heart and it only beats for you, until day! What we had is a long-forgotten story because I want to start a fresh one and I commit to you that it will be a happily ever-after tale as you wished for! I won’t let you slip away from my arms this time and I want to die in your arms instead. But……..Right now, I’m scared, not of the society but only about whether time defeated us; What if the fake story I delivered to them reached you and, this time you believed their little lies and moved far away from me and left me on my own?! What if I’m too late, too late to comprehend that once again the society overtook and defeated me, with the help of time; and that I’m at loss again, a loss so beautiful and irresistable?!”

P.S. So many of us let go of our love fearing what the future may bring to us, mainly worrying about what the society will think of us. Does it really matter what they think? Yes, for a meanwhile it may. But, they too will move on with their lives, right? If you left your love fearing some ‘may or may not happen’ incident, was is it really love? Yes, you may have left your loved one to prevent anymore hassles or sorrow because you can’t bear to see tears in your loved one’s eyes, but do remember that you will never be able to forget that one. Do give it a thought!

Welcome back!

Hello readers! I’d like to welcome you all back to my blog. After procrastinating for around a month or so, here I am trying to retrieve my readers or find any new ones and get my blog up and going. It is sometimes difficult to maintain a blog, because you have to keep posting in order to maintain your count of few readers. But, you know what? Writing is my passion, and though a little late realization from worrying about what content can impress my readers, I have learnt that I write because I want to express and this is my way of expressing. Yes! I chose words to express my thoughts and not to impress anyone. There will be some people who can relate to me and some who can’t. To begin with, how many of you write or scribble your thoughts onto a sheet of paper, it could be a diary or a scrapbook which contains some really good quality stuff contradicting the name ‘scrap’ given to it? Well, I began writing when I was in my 8th Grade and those were just on sheets that I saved in a file folder. Once, my sister and my friends pestered me for a really long time to begin this blog because they saw some potential in me after reading one of my creations, and hence here I am. It’s a feeling of contentment, when someone tells that they could totally relate to what I have written and that’s when I thought I should write what people expect. But, no I was wrong. I cannot let anyone control my passion. I will write whatever I want to, and it’s not like everyone’s going to read it.

I am not writing currently from a writer-in-a-story kinda atmosphere; like in a silent garden, resting on an armchair while sipping a cup of coffee, the wind caressing my face as my mind elopes to a land of fantasy and you know a beautiful calligraphy pen in hand penning down words running through my mind and as a result a pile of papers on the floor ’cause obviously your mind can’t just be right at the first time and is indeed a twine of words. Phew! I almost took myself to such an imaginary land whereas I am just resting on my couch, with the TV playing some Bollywood songs randomly and a laptop resting on my lap. Well my readers, that’s the power of words to you. Words have the ability to create images in your brain and the success of a writer is to make his/her reader imagine the entire story as the latter reads one of the former’s creations. For that, is it really necessary to use sophisticated words or show your hold on vocabulary? No, I don’t think so. Why are nursery rhymes so cute and fresh? It’s because of it’s simplicity about how Jack and Jill went up the hill or how Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. For that matter, it’s even the Fable Stories that we used to read as kids that shows how simple stories convey a single meaning without complicating it. Whereas, if you read the novels these days or watch movies, there are a lot of meanings that we can take from it and it depends person to person, whether they want to see the real positive ideology and understand it and imply it in their lives or just take the negatives one and be like, “that’s what they showed in the movie too”, and hence I’m right.

We, humans have the capability of complicating even a small stuff into a huge one until and unless it eats up our head so that you know we could just blame it on our mind,”I’m sorry I just overthink at times”. Really? At times? We don’t really like simple things, do we? If everything is going on fine in our lives, we still have to worry about something going to go wrong in our near future ’cause someone stupid enough has told that ‘If you laugh a lot, you’ll cry that much too” or something of that sort. So basically we can’t even laugh until we cry the tears of joy because it may magically turn into tears of sorrow. It’s funny how we ask our friends to pinch us, so that we stop our laughs before it crosses a limit. Wait, there’s a limit to laughter when laughter is the best medicine? Hmm, seems intriguing to me! Well, how many of you have followed this stupid scheme of getting pinched voluntarily? We can’t live anymore in the present, as we are always worrying about the future. Why? Life is anyway too complicated (as what we portray it) , it doesn’t need a helping hand from your brain to complicate the small list of simple things. So, don’t even bother to help life if you can’t simplify stuffs.

Ok, hold on! I was talking about the power of words and here I am ranting out some philosophy, phh! That’s what a pessimist would think . Well, if you take an optimistic approach to this, I was clueless about what to write to restart my blog after so long, and here I am typing out words entwined in my brain and I have typed out enough content for a blog. Voila! See, that’s all that matters: Take out the meaning of something happening in your life in a way that will bring out the best in you instead of hindering yourself from putting out something exciting, because even if you may not like your work, there are plenty of them who can relate to and is looking forward to just see even a small effort from you!

P.S. Welcome back readers! 😀

Oh! How I’d wish.. (Part-2)

When the wind caressed me,

I’d wish that your arms embraced me…

When the rain showered on me,

I’d wish to drown in your eyes…

When the sun beamed upon us,

I’d wish to see a shadow,

of us and not mine alone…

When the snow left me shivering,

I’d wish that I could melt in your love…

And, when the autumn leaves shed on us,

I’d wish that I could walk by the lane,

with you in a bridal dress…

I gave up all of me to you,

my wishes to fate,

my expectations to reality,

and all that I’d think of,

in my tiny little fantasy land.

only to enter a world,

a world of reality filled with obstacles;

to end with you and I!

Oh! How I wish I could,

elope to my dreamland,

where I had been assured

a happily-ever-after;

and escape from this chaotic life,

where you and I aren’t assured ;

the thought that makes me all jittery…

I had always wished that,

I’d never need to write,

about us or just you,

because I want you to live in my life,

and not in my poems!

P.S. Well, not everything in life happens the way we want because the main controller of each one of our lives, God, is watching over us, from up there! And, he’d definitely want only the best for us…Keep calm and go with the flow!

“Kol shaye yahdos le sabab” .. (Everything happens for a reason in Arabic)