Why do you love me?!

How powerful are those three words;” I love you!”?! Easily given away, but when you need to support your statement, you find yourself at a loss of words!

In an hour-long video call between the long-distance couple, she gave him a 20-minute list on why she felt things were going to be difficult for them. He paused her and asked just a question, “Why do you love me?”! Those were the few times; her non-stop chattering found a sudden full-stop and the perfect curve her lips made while she smiled, turned into a straight line. She never could find the right answer to provide him with. She didn’t want to hurt him rather, as she felt she never had the right choice of words for such situations. He calmly asked her once again, breaking the silence, “Why do you love me? You found a never-ending list of things for why you feel we don’t stand a chance. But tell me, how did this begin in the first place? If you can answer that question you’ve been dodging since ever, I’ll listen to you rant for however long you wish to!”

They just gazed at each other, because they knew what they felt was something that no word in the English dictionary could do justice to. The silence that prevailed, was broken by their hearts that beat louder! Their heart wanted to step in and remind them about what they felt for each other, but it was side-lined once again by the mind playing a game of just snakes & snakes. Yes, a game with no ladders to pull them out of the mess going through their heads! All they had to believe was in themselves; not as individuals but as “one”. But the what-ifs roared louder with no answers and those questions summoned them once again at the court of love. They pleaded mercy with all their might but were found guilty because they let the questions question the most vulnerable yet beautiful feeling, love!

She wanted him to be there for her till the end, though knowing he was no prince charming who rode a white horse. She knew his love and care mattered much more than the struggles that they would have to go through if the future saw them together. They were ready to fight anyone and anything, that stood in their way of love. Little did they know that a rather devastating war had to be fought with their own minds, a war that left both at loss!

She let out a sigh and whispered, “I Love You!”. Yes, those three words hid an ocean of emotions and were the only words that could answer his question. He knew she never gave away those words that easily and if she said it, it’s because she meant it. She used to never answer to his “I love you-s” or “I miss you-s” with a “You too”. But when she said it; it felt so magnetic that those words left him with goosebumps.

With this, a tear trickled down her cheek and it broke him knowing that he wasn’t next to her to wipe it off. She quickly wiped it off and thanked him for being there for her every time she felt the world was pulling her down. But, what an irony right? Her world itself was drowning in front of her eyes, and all she could do was to watch helplessly. She managed to pull herself up and gasped, ”Love alone is not enough for two people to live together happily. Families matter. Time matters and it waits for none. So, I guess, this is it! We don’t stand a chance, do we?” Her eyes looked up at him, with hope.

Now, a tear trickled down his cheek. He could feel a lump in his throat and him choking on words that he knew was not enough to make her stay. He managed to let out the words trying to break-free; “I don’t want to lose you, because you are my happy place too. But I can’t be selfish enough to keep you waiting, without giving you the assurance you are asking for.”

They nodded in agreement and tried to smile because their smile was each other’s strength. They didn’t want to keep the call, as they knew that could be the last time, they saw each other, until sometime in near future (fingers crossed). They wanted to meet one last time, but felt, it would have been all the more difficult to break-off from their tight hug and walk away. They thanked the invention of technology, for making things a tad easier.

They wanted it to end on a happy note and hence started recollecting all the beautiful moments they shared. Though, they smiled on the outside, their hearts were breaking into pieces with each memory shared, because they knew there will be never an end to discussing this as each moment they spent together happily or fighting, was worth it! They grew together and was each other’s support system. They were each other’s home, that one’d want to crash into after a long day!

The villain finally stepped in; the message that read: “Your data pack is about to get over….” They knew it was the end, an end so shattering after a long and beautiful run of 5 years. They never regretted that they met each other but was rather glad they got to spend some cherish-able moments together. Yes, their 5 years were going to end in 5 minutes! They didn’t waste those few minutes by speaking because they knew words meant nothing. They stared at each other, letting the tears roll down their cheeks, trying to capture those last few moments. They could see the 5 years they spent, flash in front of their eyes and their future snap into nothing, at the blink of their eyes! The phone beeped, and she let out a sigh, “I guess, this is it!”.

The screen went blank, and they both broke down, at different corners of the world!

P.S. Some people travel like parallel lines in a hope to meet at infinity, and some cross each other at an intersection and never meet again. Both are worth it, if you find peace and happiness, because that’s what’s missing in our busy lives and something we yearn for at the end of the day!

Lessons from a train journey..

A college student I was, until the last year. The point behind me revealing my personal info is nothing more than to let you know that, ‘I managed to get into a general compartment’ is a cliched statement that one gets to hear from us, the college students, especially when it is a spontaneous weekend escape plan. Well, my escape was nothing like a Goa trip or to attend a rave party, but only to go to a place I call my nearest home, far away from my home. Yes, I had gone to my aunt’s place during a 3 day holiday that my college had suddenly declared. Well, I am not getting into details of how it was at home, as home is home and everything ought to be perfect. The story is about my 2 hr train travel back to my college from my aunt’s place.

Now, to support my former statement, let me begin the story with, ‘I managed to get into a general compartment’. It was not the monsoon shower’s time, but let’s just say that the sun was having a gleeful time contrary to the frustration we experienced. I never liked the Ladies’ general compartment for some reason, especially when it was crowded. Unfortunately, I had no choice than to squeeze myself silently and make my way through the ladies/girls pushing and yelling at each other. Now, people have asked me why I have never booked my ticket atleast while I was travelling back , as it is always pre-planned when to leave. Well, can’t I just not travel with the economically challenged people of our country despite being able to afford a stress-free journey? I just like simple things and I don’t think I need a reason for it, right? And, if you really desperately need a reason, it is that this is the best way to know how it feels to be in their shoes and also to acknowledge the luxuries you have in your life and be grateful about it. Try it once and you will get to know!

Okay, getting back to my story. I’m amongst a compartment full of women of different age, culture and back-ground stories. You don’t need to ask them the story particularly, as majority of my kind is blessed with the interest to gossip about anything and everything and especially when one gets people of their own kind around them, then we just can’t avoid bonding over interfering with other people’s lives! So, the usual chitter-chatter was going on and me just being me, just plugged in to my world of music, as my intention was not to indulge into the negativity of gossips and only to be a silent spectator who didn’t mind travelling with them. Now, here are two of the peculiar observations I had and like to share, my dear readers :

There was an elderly lady wailing over the respect she never got from her only son and his family. She was travelling to the city where they resided, from her village where she stayed alone. As she was knitting a cute frock for her new-born grand-daughter, the fellow passengers sympathized over her plight and began to criticize the new stranger, they just had heard about, enthusiastically. (My mind: Acknowledge your parent’s sacrifice and presence until it is too late.)
There was a group of folk people, approx. 3-4 ladies and their total 8 kids. They didn’t have a phone nor did they know the station they had to get down at. They were sitting with hope and waiting for their men companions to rush to the compartment and get them out in a span of 2 minutes, considering the halt time. Their station arrived and a group of men barged into the ladies compartment and dragged the heavy sacks (10-12 of them) in a haste and asked the ladies to rush out with their kids. One particular child caught my attention due to her handicap. It will be difficult for me to explain in words about the sight I had as she smiled so sweetly, looked at me with sparkly eyes and tried to hold me with her “half” hand for support as her mother tried to make way amid the chaos. I didn’t want to convey the bizarre emotions behind my pale smile I casted back at her, seeing just the tiny half of her once entire hand. The other passengers just wanted to talk as I mentioned earlier, so they inquired from the mother what had happened to her and tried to evoke the feelings that she tried to control until then, just so that they could empathize. Phew! (My mind: Thank God for keeping you safe and value the only life you are gifted with. Also, never ever bring back the sad history of a person just for your entertainment!)

There were many others too but only these were worth mentioning as I felt a tug in my heart seeing them. Anyways, the gossip continued until THE tragedy happened. The train came to a halt midway and we didn’t get to know what had happened as we were at the other end of the train. But, gossip/news travel faster than the train itself these days. One of the water-bottle sellers you find in the train was trying to hop from the compartment he was in, on to the platform so as to run and enter the next compartment, while the train was in motion. Seeing him take his life so carelessly, fate thought of going for a stroll too and his body fell right into the tiny gap between the train and the platform. The train came to a halt but the damage was done anyways. As I witnessed such a tragedy from so near for the first time or atleast heard about it while being at the place of incidence, I felt shivers throughout my body. I didn’t want to look at the shattered, life-less body of his lie on the platform , which the people had managed to pull out. But yes, the women travelling along with me were excited to some different level as they got a bigger topic to talk about. They started discussing and describing what they saw and started talking about life again! My earphones couldn’t help me escape this time as my mind was stuck at the tragedy that just happened and wondering how people value their life so less. Yes, risks are necessary and Darr ke aage jeet hai (If you overcome your fear, you get success), but you only live once too!

As many as traumatic experiences I encountered in a 2 hr journey, that many lessons I did learn as well. Sometimes, you need to step into a world that is different from yours, only to learn many things more and have a moment of self-realization.

The two keys to success…

Trending Ted-Talk videos, best-selling books, a chapter in our school/college course, a motivational speech by a famous person during our Annual Day function, a biographical film or so on… We all have come across atleast one story of a successful person by either of the above-mentioned means, haven’t we? But the actual question here is, how many of us understand and apply it in our daily lives? Success is something we all aim for and the version of success perceived varies from person to person. For few, success is how much fame, power, job status or money they possess and for the other few it is personal growth rather than materialistic things like the former. Real success in life is when you achieve something that matters to you the most. Since, every individual comes with different ideologies, background etc., we should never impose our own definition of success on anyone. We should understand that the only thing in common amongst all of us is the path of constant struggle, we all volunteered to travel through, to reach our respective goals. With this being said here’s presenting you the success mantra of Rancho from 3-Idiots: “Success Ke Peeche Mat Bhaago, Excellence Ka Peecha Karo, Success Jhak Maarke Tumhare Peeche Ayegi”. Read on to understand the two things that we need to follow in order to be successful in our own ways:

Courage to accept: “Instead of repeating the same lessons over and over again, learn from them quickly by having the courage to accept them” – Roxana Jones. What if I am not right? What if things went wrong because of me? Do not ever let the ‘what ifs’ obstruct you from making any choice or rather hinder your first step towards something that you are intrigued by. No one is perfect and it is understood that nobody can get anything right at the first go. As a child, it was easier to open the long list of mistakes that we had committed, in front of anyone. You may have a reasoning that you were a child back then and people hence accepted your mistakes easily because of your innocence. Well that is true, but the only thing that’s stopping you now probably would be the ego yelling out to you ‘why should I broadcast my wrong doings so as to let anyone else snatch away my chance?’ Skip the E from the word EGO and let it GO. Feel free and muster all your courage to accept the mistakes. Own it and mean it. In such situations, just close your eyes and ponder if you’d accept a person who is ready to accept their own mistakes and correct themselves or a person who is just stubborn enough to not admit the same? You need to have the courage to accept the fact that things do take time to be right. Own your mistake instead of putting the blame on someone else, irrespective of the position you hold in that place: superior or a junior. In that way, you not only promote a healthy work atmosphere but also create opportunities for wild and creative ideas to flow in! You can excel at the cost of few scoldings from your colleagues rather than keeping quiet out of fear of humiliation and repeating the same mistake again and again. Well, a fun fact is that you get to do a new mistake the next time.

P.S. “It takes immense courage to accept, the reality of the truth, told to you and about you by someone, without just being angry” – Emotional strength

Dedication to improve: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan. How many of us have tried to extract the true essence of the phrase ‘sky is the limit’, completely? As common and easily these words are said, it opens a portal for the million different ways of doing a specific thing. It just requires enough patience to turn clay into a beautiful art-piece or in transforming diamond from a rough stone into a faceted gem. What is amazing is that at the end of the process, you eventually get to turn your frowns of failure to smiles of success. Strive hard until you get to eat the sweet fruits you reaped for. Don’t settle for anything less than perfect because you, my friend, are answerable to only one question that your inner-self will haunt you with, i.e. “Did I give my best? Was I capable of something more?” If you have a satisfactory yes to the former and a no to the latter, you will be the most content person as you have been truthful to your self and worked for something while stepping out of your comfort zone. Just imagine, what would have happened if you had not tried to walk after a few bruises, as a kid? Life is so, dear friends, you either get to walk up with your head high after giving your best or …….!

Well, to conclude, APJ Abdul Kalam has rightly quoted that “Confidence and Hard-work is the best medicine to kill the disease called failure. It will make you a successful person.”

Topicless – A new Topic…

Hey readers! A confusing topic? Well, I am really clueless and topicless as I am writing this. There’s this really difficult task of finding a really catchy name for your blog, to get your readers to read it. Atleast, that’s what I feel since I judge a movie by it’s name. Now, you got another point against me, judgmental a person I am, but that’s clearly just for movies and songs and really weird names maybe! Let me make this clear once again, I judge things and don’t judge people because I believe every person has a story of their own to tell.

Now, you tell me, don’t you cringe a bit when you hear absurd names for a movie, like why would the director even name it so?! But, there are these really intrigued set of people in the community who watch the movie to just see what link the movie has with its name, just like those people in horror movies who go towards the ghost when we keep screaming “DON’T! With my own experience of watching such a movie when left with no other choices, I’d like to say that few of them are really good. Now, you get another point, that judging a name is also wrong because a name too has a story to tell of its own.

Did I confuse you now? Well, that’s what state I get into when I have a lot of topics in my head but not enough content to write about. But, ye I don’t really have to work on an essay because people don’t really have the time to read someone else’s story right? But, can you be selfish all the time? Will people lend you an ear to listen you out when you want to rant out stuff? No! So that brings another point that you should be selfish enough not to keep people away from you. Respect your space, but do respect their thoughts too!

Now, getting back to the story behind the name for my blog. I really had a lot of topics to write about but one story leads to another because obviously the mind loves to wander about. So, infact I’m actually topicless but that gives me the right to write about anything random in each paragraph and by anything I mean, I can let my mind wander free without any refrains. How many of us have words unspoken everyday, because of different situations?

Well, I am here, reaching out to many people, because of the support and force from my loved ones to begin a blog. I used to keep my writings and thoughts saved in my diary which my parents had gifted me. It’s not really cool to invade into anyone’s personal space (I still stick on to what I say) but luckily the only sheet that tore off from my diary was a poem I had scribbled on during one of my lectures. My friends didn’t invade, don’t get me wrong, it was the fate or timing that wanted to get me off the boundary limit of my diary. They wanted me to begin a blog but I never felt my writings were really worth publishing. I asked my sister for her opinion too and she was also supportive to begin one. Hence, here I am!

The only aim behind this blog is to spread this message to all the budding writers: Get your pens out, fill it up with ink, keep writing. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have quality content. Well, no one is really perfect in this world. So, take a chill pill buddy and let your mind wander free ’cause there’s no bigger wanderlust than your mind 😉 …