Why do you love me?!

How powerful are those three words;” I love you!”?! Easily given away, but when you need to support your statement, you find yourself at a loss of words!

In an hour-long video call between the long-distance couple, she gave him a 20-minute list on why she felt things were going to be difficult for them. He paused her and asked just a question, “Why do you love me?”! Those were the few times; her non-stop chattering found a sudden full-stop and the perfect curve her lips made while she smiled, turned into a straight line. She never could find the right answer to provide him with. She didn’t want to hurt him rather, as she felt she never had the right choice of words for such situations. He calmly asked her once again, breaking the silence, “Why do you love me? You found a never-ending list of things for why you feel we don’t stand a chance. But tell me, how did this begin in the first place? If you can answer that question you’ve been dodging since ever, I’ll listen to you rant for however long you wish to!”

They just gazed at each other, because they knew what they felt was something that no word in the English dictionary could do justice to. The silence that prevailed, was broken by their hearts that beat louder! Their heart wanted to step in and remind them about what they felt for each other, but it was side-lined once again by the mind playing a game of just snakes & snakes. Yes, a game with no ladders to pull them out of the mess going through their heads! All they had to believe was in themselves; not as individuals but as “one”. But the what-ifs roared louder with no answers and those questions summoned them once again at the court of love. They pleaded mercy with all their might but were found guilty because they let the questions question the most vulnerable yet beautiful feeling, love!

She wanted him to be there for her till the end, though knowing he was no prince charming who rode a white horse. She knew his love and care mattered much more than the struggles that they would have to go through if the future saw them together. They were ready to fight anyone and anything, that stood in their way of love. Little did they know that a rather devastating war had to be fought with their own minds, a war that left both at loss!

She let out a sigh and whispered, “I Love You!”. Yes, those three words hid an ocean of emotions and were the only words that could answer his question. He knew she never gave away those words that easily and if she said it, it’s because she meant it. She used to never answer to his “I love you-s” or “I miss you-s” with a “You too”. But when she said it; it felt so magnetic that those words left him with goosebumps.

With this, a tear trickled down her cheek and it broke him knowing that he wasn’t next to her to wipe it off. She quickly wiped it off and thanked him for being there for her every time she felt the world was pulling her down. But, what an irony right? Her world itself was drowning in front of her eyes, and all she could do was to watch helplessly. She managed to pull herself up and gasped, ”Love alone is not enough for two people to live together happily. Families matter. Time matters and it waits for none. So, I guess, this is it! We don’t stand a chance, do we?” Her eyes looked up at him, with hope.

Now, a tear trickled down his cheek. He could feel a lump in his throat and him choking on words that he knew was not enough to make her stay. He managed to let out the words trying to break-free; “I don’t want to lose you, because you are my happy place too. But I can’t be selfish enough to keep you waiting, without giving you the assurance you are asking for.”

They nodded in agreement and tried to smile because their smile was each other’s strength. They didn’t want to keep the call, as they knew that could be the last time, they saw each other, until sometime in near future (fingers crossed). They wanted to meet one last time, but felt, it would have been all the more difficult to break-off from their tight hug and walk away. They thanked the invention of technology, for making things a tad easier.

They wanted it to end on a happy note and hence started recollecting all the beautiful moments they shared. Though, they smiled on the outside, their hearts were breaking into pieces with each memory shared, because they knew there will be never an end to discussing this as each moment they spent together happily or fighting, was worth it! They grew together and was each other’s support system. They were each other’s home, that one’d want to crash into after a long day!

The villain finally stepped in; the message that read: “Your data pack is about to get over….” They knew it was the end, an end so shattering after a long and beautiful run of 5 years. They never regretted that they met each other but was rather glad they got to spend some cherish-able moments together. Yes, their 5 years were going to end in 5 minutes! They didn’t waste those few minutes by speaking because they knew words meant nothing. They stared at each other, letting the tears roll down their cheeks, trying to capture those last few moments. They could see the 5 years they spent, flash in front of their eyes and their future snap into nothing, at the blink of their eyes! The phone beeped, and she let out a sigh, “I guess, this is it!”.

The screen went blank, and they both broke down, at different corners of the world!

P.S. Some people travel like parallel lines in a hope to meet at infinity, and some cross each other at an intersection and never meet again. Both are worth it, if you find peace and happiness, because that’s what’s missing in our busy lives and something we yearn for at the end of the day!

Life after falling out of love..

Do we really fall “out” of love? Umm, well the answer is a no! You indeed just fall deeper and deeper “in” love.. But yea, you do learn to live without your “soul mate”, with days passing by, which is totally a different thing, yet sadly a common trend of this generation..

Drenched pillows, insomniac nights, and what all followed that day were just nightmares in short.. Lying on his mother’s lap with her gentle hands brushing his hair; nor a talk with her bestie for hours on phone could fix the damage they felt! They knew it was the end of their journey together.. Yet, their heart stayed well-connected.. They shared a common lie when they met even after years, “Yes, I’m fine ” ,though the words muffled and their eyes spoke volume.. All they longed to see was each other’s smile and they didn’t mind fighting back the stream of tears for that moment.. Priorities never changed.. They remained at the top of each other’s Facebook search list even after months, just the way they used to top each other’s chat list few years back.. Late-night surprises and wishes on birthday changed into confining themselves into their own room and numerous statuses or backspaced messages that their gadgets witnessed..

She wished for “online” to change into “typing” , each time she stalked him in WhatsApp .. Little did she realize that, the person on the other side of the screen wished for the same too.. Love never left them but ego surely did come into scene with fatal power.. She searched for him in each and every guy she encountered later.. But it was all in vain !! Her flawless smile could be only seen in his dreams and in the photos that filled his mobile gallery.. He longed to feel her soft fingers in his hand and hold her close to him and so did she wish to melt in the warmth , his arms once provided.. She knew his love was the drug she needed to cure her neurotic nights and that no psychiatrist in this world could prescribe it rightly.. So did he know that she was the reason for his existence in this unfair world.. They were two people connected by their souls, indulged in a process of helping each other grow in all aspects of life; which couldn’t be carried out by anyone else so flawlessly like they did …

She remembered those days with teary eyes, where she secretly wished him to stay every time she said a “bye” .. She still remembered that night where they bid farewell to each other for one last time.. She wished to be the backspace to all the frustration and depression he felt at 2 am.. Who told boys never shed tears?? Little did she know that , each time he put a smile on her face while she felt sad , he was giving away his own smile and that he slept with damp eyes on the other side of the phone.. He had always kept his word of taking care of all her problems and assuring a goodnight sleep to her.. Yes, he lied that he was fine each time she sensed a change in his tone.. But a lie to keep a person happy was not a sin, he believed..

He never fell so hard as he fell every time he saw her smile.. Since the day they stopped hearing each other’s goodnight, fitful nights of sleep had creeped in.. Each time they heard each other’s name, it felt traumatic and their heart skipped a beat.. After every fight they had had, they came a bit more closer to each other.. Every sacrifice, compromise, adjustment and the long wait to meet each other was worth it.. But now they could live together only in a parallel universe which their hearts made, led by the ever-destroying ‘egoism‘ ..

P.S. Loving oneself is obviously the utmost priority because it’s just ‘you for yourself’, at the end of the day. You come alone to this world and you leave alone. But, never forget the people who are willingly spending their time on earth, trying to live beside you. Ego, though a tiny word has the power to stab a little longer and a more meaningful word, love! Be a bigger person,skip the E and let it GO!

Your dreams are mine now..

Time fast forwarded?? Check !! She tried to pause that moment and unclutter her mind for now, but it was all in vain. Yes, trying to stop her mind from wandering through the unwanted path she once strolled along with him, was what she wished for now !! She was strangled in the world’s biggest prison- her mind, which she has been trying to elope from, but this time alone.
As her mind played a game of “Twister“, she managed to pull out a pale smile to flash upon the world. Surprisingly, the only bright thing she beheld after a series of tragedies was her smile. Her lips were a barren desert, baring a stark to her pair of dark clouds which have cried a million rivers..
She leaned on the walls, wishing it’d be his shoulders; her fingers intertwined with not his, but hers to pray to the Almighty; her eyes searched for his’, though all she could stare was at the dim walls. She had lost the spark in her eyes, as his eyes were the mirror that caused such a magnificent reflection, she proclaimed.
She didn’t want anyone else to see her, hear her, console her. She was all cold; she wanted warmth which only his arms could provide; she wanted to listen to his heartbeats but they no longer beat for her. She sighed, “your dreams are mine now”, and her voice echoed in that little, empty room. Yes, she had to live to fulfill her dreams, his dream.!