Just this one last time?!

A long-forgotten yet a beautiful story! Currently, that’s what I like to call that chapter in my life, whenever anyone shoots the most cliché post-breakup question towards me: “Have you moved on?!” Well by long-forgotten; please do not take the literal meaning out of it, my dear readers. I just ought to let you know that it’s been long enough for you to forget that and update yourself with new gossips. C’mon, I get the part that this story was once the talk in the city. But as necessary it is for me to move on, so is it for you! I’m done listening to all the sympathies and ‘awwws’ you would let out on hearing my short lived romantic story. I try to put enough full stops to that tale but you, the society, are just like the wind obstructing me from moving on to the next page. You blow in the wrong direction all over again; now you are supposed to help me in the direction of turning pages and then you were to blow in such a way that would pull her close to me. How can you mess it up every single time?! I hope my story is enough to let you know that you are invented to keep the dear ones close and keep the strangers off!!

Well, I’m kind of going off-track because my dear society, I’m not going to give you any more attention, at least that’s not what I wish to after all these years. I once had given you enough attention but only to lose something precious than a gem to me. Yes, I lost her! I lost my love while I gave an ear to all those crappy questions you kept bombarding at me. I could never provide her with an answer to why I love her or why it felt like home beside her or an affirmation to a happily ever after. It is unbelievable that I gave a damn thought to what all you ever made me believe in, when I was ought to surrender my only thoughts to her, to us! And that’s something that I guess I’ll regret life-long. Her thoughts haunt me still and this time I won’t hesitate to shout it out to the world, against all those ears waiting to eavesdrop to what my heart wants to whisper; her name. I won’t let you hush me down and I won’t step back from this very last time I want to speak about her because since long, behind the pale smile I flash upon you, I have been gulping down words waiting to break free. I don’t want to suffocate up on such a mesmerizing thought because all I wish is to continue living knowing that I was lucky enough to meet an angel like her! I beg of you to not stop me, this one last time…

Her twinkling eyes beautifully drawn with her only favourite makeup ‘kajal’ used to hold me back in such a magnetic way that I could see the entire future we were to stumble upon together; she never paused to think before she casted her pearly whites between her perfectly curved lips and yes, I can still hear her giggle in the silliest yet cutest way amongst the crowded local trains I travel by daily; her butter-fingers used to carelessly intertwine between my long fingers hoping to find her name embossed on my ring finger one day; and I can never forget the way her hair used to sway and fall over her perfectly carved face waiting to be brushed away by my fingers, only to find her breath-taking gaze and smile! What an exclusive creation of God she is, with such a striking look and an even more gentle soul within! Hmph. I just wish I could rewind time and that I had not stood there blankly gazing at her as the tears streamed down waiting for it to be wiped off by me, yes me! What was I waiting for? But, how could I, knowing that I was the reason for those drops soaking my shirt collar as she clung onto me tightly praying to stay that close with me forever? It’s only because I listened to you, my dearest society! I was scared you would cause her more hurt than you would to me, which is why I let her go before it’s too late; I let her slip away from my arms.

Since then, I have been choking on words she wished to hear that day, and I still can feel her presence around me hoping to just hear my heart beat her name. I won’t hold back this time, my dear… “I loved you, and I still love you. I want to scream your name out loud and wait until the echoes reach you, just so that I can let you know that you still rule my heart and it only beats for you, until day! What we had is a long-forgotten story because I want to start a fresh one and I commit to you that it will be a happily ever-after tale as you wished for! I won’t let you slip away from my arms this time and I want to die in your arms instead. But……..Right now, I’m scared, not of the society but only about whether time defeated us; What if the fake story I delivered to them reached you and, this time you believed their little lies and moved far away from me and left me on my own?! What if I’m too late, too late to comprehend that once again the society overtook and defeated me, with the help of time; and that I’m at loss again, a loss so beautiful and irresistable?!”

P.S. So many of us let go of our love fearing what the future may bring to us, mainly worrying about what the society will think of us. Does it really matter what they think? Yes, for a meanwhile it may. But, they too will move on with their lives, right? If you left your love fearing some ‘may or may not happen’ incident, was is it really love? Yes, you may have left your loved one to prevent anymore hassles or sorrow because you can’t bear to see tears in your loved one’s eyes, but do remember that you will never be able to forget that one. Do give it a thought!

Life after falling out of love..

Do we really fall “out” of love? Umm, well the answer is a no! You indeed just fall deeper and deeper “in” love.. But yea, you do learn to live without your “soul mate”, with days passing by, which is totally a different thing, yet sadly a common trend of this generation..

Drenched pillows, insomniac nights, and what all followed that day were just nightmares in short.. Lying on his mother’s lap with her gentle hands brushing his hair; nor a talk with her bestie for hours on phone could fix the damage they felt! They knew it was the end of their journey together.. Yet, their heart stayed well-connected.. They shared a common lie when they met even after years, “Yes, I’m fine ” ,though the words muffled and their eyes spoke volume.. All they longed to see was each other’s smile and they didn’t mind fighting back the stream of tears for that moment.. Priorities never changed.. They remained at the top of each other’s Facebook search list even after months, just the way they used to top each other’s chat list few years back.. Late-night surprises and wishes on birthday changed into confining themselves into their own room and numerous statuses or backspaced messages that their gadgets witnessed..

She wished for “online” to change into “typing” , each time she stalked him in WhatsApp .. Little did she realize that, the person on the other side of the screen wished for the same too.. Love never left them but ego surely did come into scene with fatal power.. She searched for him in each and every guy she encountered later.. But it was all in vain !! Her flawless smile could be only seen in his dreams and in the photos that filled his mobile gallery.. He longed to feel her soft fingers in his hand and hold her close to him and so did she wish to melt in the warmth , his arms once provided.. She knew his love was the drug she needed to cure her neurotic nights and that no psychiatrist in this world could prescribe it rightly.. So did he know that she was the reason for his existence in this unfair world.. They were two people connected by their souls, indulged in a process of helping each other grow in all aspects of life; which couldn’t be carried out by anyone else so flawlessly like they did …

She remembered those days with teary eyes, where she secretly wished him to stay every time she said a “bye” .. She still remembered that night where they bid farewell to each other for one last time.. She wished to be the backspace to all the frustration and depression he felt at 2 am.. Who told boys never shed tears?? Little did she know that , each time he put a smile on her face while she felt sad , he was giving away his own smile and that he slept with damp eyes on the other side of the phone.. He had always kept his word of taking care of all her problems and assuring a goodnight sleep to her.. Yes, he lied that he was fine each time she sensed a change in his tone.. But a lie to keep a person happy was not a sin, he believed..

He never fell so hard as he fell every time he saw her smile.. Since the day they stopped hearing each other’s goodnight, fitful nights of sleep had creeped in.. Each time they heard each other’s name, it felt traumatic and their heart skipped a beat.. After every fight they had had, they came a bit more closer to each other.. Every sacrifice, compromise, adjustment and the long wait to meet each other was worth it.. But now they could live together only in a parallel universe which their hearts made, led by the ever-destroying ‘egoism‘ ..

P.S. Loving oneself is obviously the utmost priority because it’s just ‘you for yourself’, at the end of the day. You come alone to this world and you leave alone. But, never forget the people who are willingly spending their time on earth, trying to live beside you. Ego, though a tiny word has the power to stab a little longer and a more meaningful word, love! Be a bigger person,skip the E and let it GO!

Religion separated them too..

“Love your fellow-beings and respect each and everyone’s feelings” – read the textbook and Holy books. Things were much simpler to follow when we were young as it came with no strings attached. “Falling in love is easy, but escaping from it isn’t” was a thing which was taught by neither the school professors nor any books. There is no book of instructions or precautions, to go through before encountering life’s greatest adventure- love ..
Religion connects people to their respective God, and love is felt when two people’s heart connects. But does religion and love go hand in hand?! Umm, maybe well not in every case. Despite all differences between them ; their culture, traditions, behavior, religion, family background ; the strongest force of attraction- love bound them together and kept them going. They believed that God is one and all He wanted to see was happiness blossom everywhere in his kingdom – the world. But their relationship had to finally drop the anchor , as they belonged to different religions and communities.
The Gods’ had written a perfect ending to their special story too, but it wasn’t well coordinated among the Gods because of an invisible wall His own creation made – religion. Despite all efforts to fight for their oneness, they had to give way for their story to happen, the way it was meant to be, as they didn’t want to go against God’s will or agitate Him and cause trouble or mishaps for their families, according to what the world conveyed to them.
Society, in the name of religion broke down a bridge between two hearts and opened the gates to an incomplete story, once again. They wished that their children could believe in some new religion which taught them to love and not hate someone.